Controllable vs. Uncontrollable

Story image by Howard Childs/ C.Warner

When playing tennis, as in life, there are things that can be controlled as well as things that are not controllable. These can play a major factor on how one performs.

In today's busy world there is much going on. There are planes in the sky, emergency vehicles as well as traffic on the streets and many people around us. When we live our normal lives, most of these things become background noise. As we play tennis matches much of the same become very amplified and distracting.

While growing up in New York City, there were many distractions on and off the court. Between activities around the courts as well as disputes and fisticuffs happening on the courts, there was much to block out.

Yes, believe it or not, people actually fought on the courts due to accusations of cheating and bad calls. There was also an occasional mentally disturbed person who emerged from the underground railroad tracks below the courts. These were great lessons in discipline of the mind during my youth and my tennis.

In today's world, technology can be an issue as well. Many people leave their cell phones on ring during play and lessons. Alarms go off from the same phones as reminders for peoples’ appointments.

The newest technological advancement that bothers me in particular is the new “Dick Tracy” watch. People have smart watches that are synced to their phones in order to receive texts, emails and calls when on the go. At first, I was paranoid that people needed to check the time during a lesson because they were bored. “Am I boring," I would ask myself. Then I realized they were receiving messages through their watch.

Recently, one of my top juniors was playing a practice match and became agitated during play. I asked him what had happened during such a crucial point and he explained to me that his friend had upset him. Naturally, I asked why he was still dwelling on something that had occurred earlier. He said it had just happened and his friend was not supposed to call him during his playing time. I was baffled.

Of course, I didn't realize he had a new watch that notifies him for phone calls and messages. Silly me for not understanding his annoyance over his good friend wanting to speak with him.

Okay come on people! Really?! How difficult is it to turn notifications off on your phone or remove a watch during a lesson or match play? This is certainly a controllable issue. Emergencies or urgent matters are understandable as long as there is fair warning before hand.

As a coach, I am finding new issues to help create lesson plans. Today's society is very distracting. People have shorter attention spans and get irritated by things away from the court in other parts of their lives. One of my most common sayings is, “The tennis court is Vacation Land. Everything else is on the outside of the fence (or walls) and should stay there until after lessons or play.”

Another young student of mine recently got a puppy. He comes to a higher level that I teach for younger kids and I expect focus and effort. Most days he is out of it. I ask him why he can’t focus and he explains that his puppy keeps him up at night. If I had hair on my head, I would be pulling it out whenever he gives me that excuse!

For anyone who understands mindfulness, this is a great technique to learn and pass on to others. All coaches that have similar issues with their students (this doesn't pertain just to tennis coaches) will find this technique extremely useful. It helps with putting non-essential thoughts to the side so one can get back to focusing on the task at hand.

With today's challenges of staying at home due to world problems or being outside dodging unavoidable obstacles, it is important for all of us to stay disciplined. Focus on what we are trying to achieve.

Mistakes happen and we can easily be derailed from current matters. Find a way to rebound quickly and control yourself in order to achieve the goals you have set. When controlling one’s self, all uncontrollable things become easier to handle on the path to success.